diff --git a/Makefile.online b/Makefile.online
index 2e81e94..bed37e8 100644
--- a/Makefile.online
+++ b/Makefile.online
@@ -11,13 +11,18 @@ CHROME_PATH = $(CHROME_DIR)/thorium
 CHROMEDRIVER_PATH = $(CHROME_DIR)/chromedriver
 CHROME_PROFILE ?= /tmp/chrome-lighthouse
 JS_FLAGS=''
-CHROME_FLAGS += --headless --disable-extensions --no-default-browser-check --disable-client-side-phishing-detection --disable-component-update --disable-default-apps --disable-device-discovery-notifications --disable-domain-reliability --disable-background-timer-throttling --disable-breakpad --enable-blink-features=LayoutInstabilityAPI --no-first-run --disable-background-networking --user-data-dir=$(CHROME_PROFILE) --enable-quic --start-in-incognito --origin-to-force-quic-on=$(DOMAIN):443
+CHROME_FLAGS += --headless --disable-extensions --no-default-browser-check --disable-client-side-phishing-detection --disable-component-update --disable-default-apps --disable-device-discovery-notifications --disable-domain-reliability --disable-background-timer-throttling --disable-breakpad --enable-blink-features=LayoutInstabilityAPI --no-first-run --disable-background-networking --user-data-dir=$(CHROME_PROFILE) --enable-quic --start-in-incognito --origin-to-force-quic-on=seirdy.one:443
 CHROME_FLAGS_COMMA = 'disable-extensions,no-default-browser-check,disable-client-side-phishing-detection,disable-component-update,disable-default-apps,disable-device-discovery-notifications,disable-domain-reliability,disable-background-timer-throttling,disable-breakpad,no-first-run,disable-background-networking,js-flags=--jitless'
-CPU_SLOWDOWN=12.0
+# When quiet, my lappie's CPU power is benchmarked to be ~1320. The CPU throttling calculator recommends throttling by 3.1x.
+# Multiply that by 4 cuz imo it's way too generous. It targets devices like the Moto G4; I target devices like the JioPhone 2.
+CPU_SLOWDOWN=12.5
 LIGHTHOUSE_ARGS += --budget-path linter-configs/budget.json --output html --output json --output-file lighthouse-results --throttling-method=devtools --throttling.cpuSlowdownMultiplier=$(CPU_SLOWDOWN) --chrome-flags="$(CHROME_FLAGS)"
 
+# make some of these quiet bc they'll otherwise echo every URL
+
 hint-online:
-	hint --config linter-configs/hintrc $(URLS)
+	@echo "Running webhint"
+	@hint --config linter-configs/hintrc $(URLS)
 lighthouse:
 	mkdir -p $(CHROME_PROFILE)
 	CHROME_PATH=$(CHROME_PATH) CHROME_PROFILE=$(CHROME_PROFILE) JS_FLAGS='' lighthouse $(URLS) $(LIGHTHOUSE_ARGS)
@@ -27,8 +32,10 @@ redbot:
 .PHONY: hint-online lighthouse redbot
 
 axe:
-	axe $(URLS) --chrome-options $(CHROME_FLAGS_COMMA) --chromedriver-path=$(CHROMEDRIVER_PATH) --show-errors
+	@echo "Running axe"
+	@axe $(URLS) --chrome-options $(CHROME_FLAGS_COMMA) --chromedriver-path=$(CHROMEDRIVER_PATH) --show-errors
 axe-ff:
+	@echo "Running axe with Firefox"
 	PATH=scripts/bin:$(PATH) axe $(URLS) -b firefox --show-errors
 .PHONY: axe axe-ff
 
diff --git a/linter-configs/hintrc b/linter-configs/hintrc
index e188e5d..c7b94dc 100644
--- a/linter-configs/hintrc
+++ b/linter-configs/hintrc
@@ -26,6 +26,7 @@
 		"axe/tables": "off",
 		"axe/text-alternatives": "off",
 		"axe/time-and-media": "off",
+		"axe/parsing": "off",
 		"compat-api/css": [
 			"error",
 			{
@@ -93,7 +94,7 @@
 			"error",
 			{
 				"connectionType": "3GSlow",
-				"loadTime": 10
+				"loadTime": 10.5
 			}
 		],
 		"css-prefix-order": "error",
diff --git a/scripts/bin/check-whole-site b/scripts/bin/check-whole-site
index b547b4f..26da1c3 100755
--- a/scripts/bin/check-whole-site
+++ b/scripts/bin/check-whole-site
@@ -63,8 +63,8 @@ base_url="${1-http://localhost:8089}"
 make -j1 HUGO_FLAGS=-DF HUGO_BASEURL="$base_url" clean hugo xhtmlize validate-html
 make -j "$jobs" -f Makefile.online HUGO_BASEURL="$base_url" all-extra URLS="$(curl -sSL "$base_url/sitemap.xml" | htmlq loc -t | rg -v '/search/$' | tr '\n' ' ')" &
 make deploy-staging RSYNCFLAGS_EXTRA=-q
-wait
 make -f Makefile.online hint-online URLS="$(curl -sSL --compressed https://staging.seirdy.one/sitemap.xml | htmlq loc -t | rg -v '/(?:search|wcag-is-a-starting-point)/$' | sort | tr '\n' ' ')"
+wait
 # TODO: run lighthouse on every page in the sitemap.
 
 # vi:ft=sh